This Piece of Time

I suck at prayer.  If you need someone to pray for you, I'm probably not your girl.  Sure, I'll say I'll do it.  I'll even have good intentions to get it done.  But I won't.  The light will turn green, the kids will yell, the phone will ring and I will forget.  Every time.  My personal prayer life isn't much better.  It's embarrassing to say, but I'm too rushed, tired, and distracted.  The thought of prayer seldom crosses my mind. Apparently, God has been noticing.  In the past few months I have found myself on the outskirts of situation after situation that lead me straight to my knees.  Not a passing "Please God work in that situation" way, but a "My words have run dry and still I pray" kind of way.  I have prayed myself to sleep and then awoken with an urgency to pray again.  I have wept as I pleaded with God to work miracles.  I have prayed that God's hand would be seen and I have prayed that Satan's lies would ...

Sometimes, my quest to balance life sends me in a tailspin.  This may be one of those times.  Months ago, I was approached by a childhood friend asking me to do a MARK party to help start her business.  Perfect!  I NEED to reconnect with my friends and this could be fun girls night.  Wine, chocolate, coffee, make-up, and friends.  Who could turn that down?!?  Knowing that March was the best month for my friend's business, I picked a date and sent the invites.  No problem.  It's March.  What could possibly be going on?  Nothing, other than the Book Fair at Paige's school which I volunteered to staff.  Nothing, other than Adam's big project for Writing for Engineers.  Nothing, other than a clothing resale that I sold, shopped and worked at for much of last week. If I didn't need this night so badly, I would reschedule.  That, however, is NOT happening!  I will have girl time if it kills me.  I will have wi...

I have a bad attitude.  It's been building for about a week now.  At first I blamed hormones, then lack of "adult" time, and now I am at a loss.  There are no more excuses.  While hormones didn't do me any favors, they were not totally responsible.  A date night was long overdue and an enjoyable break, but by morning the gray cloud was back. A man at Meijer told me how much he admired me as a mom, but that held me for only a few minutes.  I have even enjoyed two play dates with sweet friends in the past week and, still, I can't kick the gloom.  Being married is hard; having kids is harder; having a new puppy is insane.  Carpool lines, laundry, grocery shopping, baths, homework, dinner, PTO meetings, dentist appointments, dishes, and diapers consume my days. A screaming toddler and a bed-wetting preschooler interrupt my nights.  If I'm not refereeing fights, I'm answering another unending "why" question or playing yet another game of I Spy. ...

Sometimes planning pays off.  I have found that, in motherhood, planning rarely hurts.  The plan may not play out exactly as intended but having one is never a bad idea. Today I planned.  Instead of spending the glorious quiet of nap time vegging on the couch zoned out to some random TV show, I typed out a grocery list.  Two actually.  I looked up clip art to match the items on one of the lists(for the non-reader) .  And I prepped myself for a rare afternoon shopping trip with all three kids. I don't take all three to the store if it can be at all avoided.  I go in the evening, in the morning with just two, or on a day when I can get a sitter.  I don't take them all.  It never ends well.  There's frustration, short tempers, harsh words, angry stares and often tears.  The kids don't fair well either.  But this was one of those weeks.  The fridge was bare, babysitters were busy and evenings were booked.  We had t...