This Piece of Time

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10 What began as a VBS memory verse has quickly turned into the theme of our summer.  As we walk this road of uncertainty, we cling to the truth that God is with us.  He has gone before us and will provide the strength to finish this adventure.  Part of that journey is a new school for our girls.  For Brooklyn, this is just a small change.  Kindergarten is a year of new friendships, schedules, and teachers.  For her, the location has changed, but the experience remains the same.  As a third grader, Paige's year is completely different.  New building, teachers, and, most importantly, friends.  As I drove my nervous girl to school yesterday, we lifted our voices to the Lord and I fought back tears.  I reassured her that she would have friends, that this would be a good year, and that

What a crazy month!  I would fill you in on all of the nonsense, but quite frankly, I don't have the time.  I am writing this post for one very important reason.  My Brooklyn has turned six.  She actually had her birthday on Saturday while we were moving all of our belongings into storage.  Like I said, no time.  Despite the craziness of our week, we made sure that B got her special day.  A party at Glow Golf with her friends last Friday, breakfast for dinner (aka brinner) with our families on Wednesday, and Chick-fil-a and Cold Stone Saturday evening.  I don't think she noticed that we weren't with her for 90% of her actual birthday.  At least I hope she didn't.  If we could sum up Brooklyn at six we would say sassy, sweet, and sensitive.  She cries at the sight of blood, has a heart for others, and has picked up the phrase "Seriously?!?" and a wicked eye roll.  Her favorite things are her American Girl doll, Marie from Aristocats, and Strawberry Shortc

Ten years of marriage.  3,653 days of learning. Learning that he would rather eat cereal than most any meal.  ...... to button the top button on his shirts when I hang them.  ......the correct way to remove a seat belt (still working on that one) ...... to identify the sound of him gagging when the diaper is too gross ....... and getting there before it's too late ........that the draft will ALWAYS fall on our anniversary weekend.  ........ to fall asleep before the snoring begins.  ........ the art of wrinkle free sheets ........they ways he feels loved ........the delicate art of fighting fair ........to tag team the chaos The list could go on and on.  And it will.  We will never stop learning and we will never stop needing to learn.  This thing called marriage is tough.  Ten years ago we began our lives together in a little townhouse with empty closets and little furniture.  Now, our closets are full, we've outgrown our house, and there are three little ones fo

I'm having one of those life events that make you want to throw up and cry all at the same time.  Not that anything is actually "wrong".  I'm just so scared of the unknown that I can barely think straight.  For weeks I have been praying that God would make himself known.  That it would be unavoidably obvious the direction we should go.  Yet, the minute that God does something HUGE.  Something completely unexpected and totally obvious.  I FREAK out.  I have no peace.  Seeing the path is no longer good enough.  Now I want the destination too.  I want to see the whole staircase, not just this step.  How quickly I disregard his direction.  My fear and anxiety over the unknown overshadow the gift of known.  Nothing is ever enough.  This afternoon I drove through town with two little ones giggling in the backseat and I poured my heart out. I sang through my sobs and I laid it down.  At his feet.  Where it belongs.  He has this, I don't.  He knows the destination.  I a

It's been a long two weeks.  That may be the understatement of the year.  Twelve days at home with sick kids.  I don't even have the words.  What I can tell you is that after a run like we've just had patience is running on empty.  I have been nurse, short order cook, cleaning lady, laundromat, and comforter for 288 hours straight.  Tonight I hit my breaking point.  I won't bore you with the play-by-play, but it basically involved three kids, lots of mud and a garden hose.  I lost it.  Now, I could say that an eight year old knows better than to smear mud on the sliding glass door or to spray her brother with the hose in 50 degree weather, but, as my mother reminds me so often, "she's only eight".  Should she do those things? No.  Did she deserve to be yelled at? I don't think so.  I am so grateful that tonight my attitude didn't get in the way of my guilt. (As it often does.) After starting some mac-n-cheese, I called the girls out to the k

Yesterday, Paige celebrated her eighth birthday.  I am completely overwhelmed with emotion when I think about that little girl.  Our journey has not been an easy road.  She has all too often pushed me to my limit and then, knocked me right over the edge.  I have spent the past 8 years crying, praying, yelling, and questioning.  I am not qualified to raise this little girl.  She needs so much more than I have to give.  And yet, God continues to remind me that we were made for each other.  This little girl is EXACTLY who I need.  And she needs me.  My emotion does not come from a place of sadness or frustration.  Oh, those have had their times, but this emotion comes from a place of gratefulness and pride.  Not in the job that I have done, but in the young lady Paige is becoming and the lessons she has taught me along the way.  Her story may just be beginning but it already screams of the One who has great plans for her life.  I am so grateful to be a part.  Paige has an insane love

Today Emerson turned three.  I had our whole morning planned out.  Starbucks, party supply shopping, Build-a-Bear, Auntie Anne's and a birthday cookie. Emerson had plans to ride an elevator.  He failed to share those plans with me. I was watching him.  My eyes never left his little body as he walked down the rows of shoes at Macy's.  When he ducked into an alcove, I watched until he popped back out and continued down the row.  When he got to the second doorway, I expected the same but he never popped back out.  I went after him thinking he would be hiding in the corner.  He wasn't there.   An elevator door stared back at me.  When the doors opened the revealed an empty shell.  My baby was gone. The next ten minutes might as well have taken three days.  The Macy's managers and security team scrambled over the first and third floors searching for my boy.  I stood helpless in the hallway watching the elevator doors open and close with no sign of my baby.  Finally the

I've mentioned before that my kids have different and distinct love languages.  Despite my intentions to read the book "5 Love Languages" I have not.  I do know the basic premise of the book (thanks to my mother) and can identify the tendencies in both Adam and I and our kids.  Paige made it clear early on that she was a quality time kid.  Sometime last year, we realized that Brooklyn's dependence on us is rooted in a need for service.  We speak to her through our acts of service.  Last week, it dawned on me that Emerson is a physical touch kid.  Go figure.  Like father like son.  Every night, Emerson insists that I lay with him in bed while we read.  If I hurry bedtime, he cries for me to "hold him".  In the grocery store, he insists that I carry him while I push the cart (Which is nearly impossible when the cart is full and the aisles are crowded.)  This has lead to many a screaming fit.  He doesn't handle it well either.   The more I think, the more

I have been struggling to write lately.  The desire is there but the subject matter eludes me.  Nothing has driven me to a place of inspiration.  I started watching my calories this week, but who wants to read a whole post about my issues with self-control?!  There have been some major things going on in the lives of those around me, but I don't express myself well when the wounds are raw, so those will have to wait.  It just so happens that a friend posted about the things her kids are teaching her and that inspired me to do the same.  I am currently reading a book by Angela Thomas (who I LOVE) called "52 Things Kids Need from Their Mom".  It has inspired me to take a closer look at my relationship with my kids and to be more intentional with the little things I do everyday.  I plan to write more on that later, but this new awareness has only helped me pinpoint the ways my kids are teaching me. At almost eight years old, Paige is teaching me how to parent at a new le