Sunday, September 25, 2011

So Many Thoughts....

I'm not sure if I should laugh, cry, call a counselor, or buy another parenting book. 

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

You may have a problem if......

When telling your two year old his toy is upside down he replies "Upside down?  Upside down Macchiato?" 

When playing outside with the neighbors, he walks up to a play window and orders a grande hot chocolate.

On the way to Starbucks, the two year old says "You need coffee mommy?  Are you sick for it?  Are you sick for your coffee?" 

Also, if the treat receipts in your purse can be organized in consecutive order.

Monday, September 12, 2011

September 13th

I opened my inbox today and found an email titled "Wish Audrey's daughter a Happy 1st Birthday!"  In that instant, an all to familiar ache filled my heart.  I knew it was coming.  We talked about it just a few weeks ago.  Discussing ways that Annabelle's life could be honored.  Ways that her baby brother and future siblings could remember their big sister on her birthday.  Traditions that would become treasured memories.  Yet, I wasn't prepared. 

In the past 7 months, I have had hard conversations with Auds.  I have held her while she wept and I have prayed with her until I had no words left to speak.  I spent hours sitting at the foot of Annabelle's grave and I have felt more helpless than ever before in my life.  In that time, I have also watched a marriage be transformed.  I have joyfully shopped for windmills for sweet Annabelle's grave (you should have seen the cashiers face when Auds mentioned their destination).  I have laughed until I cried, hurdled sprinklers in the cemetery and found hope overcoming despair.  I have been inspired and challenged.

The last time we talked, Audrey said "I'm not going to say she should be here right now.  God knew from the beginning that she wouldn't be.  That wasn't the plan for her life."  Tomorrow Audrey and Kyle will celebrate the 5 months they spent with Annabelle and they will thank God for the blessings she brought to them.  Through her life and through her death. 

Kyle and Auds, 
I will spend tomorrow on my knees. 
I love you!

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Less of Me

I'm a doer.  Ask anyone who's known me for more than an hour and they will agree.  I love a good dilemma.  Give me a challenge and I will find the answer.  I thrive in situations that allow me to step in, calm the chaos and fix problems.  I most likely have an issue with feeling needed, but that's for another day.  Today, I am coordinating childcare for a women's bible study at our church.  Every year around this time, I find myself searching for workers.  I beg, I plead, I make promises I most likely cannot keep, and I stress.  To date, we have never turned a mom away due to lack of childcare.  So help me, I plan to keep it that way!  This year we have a waiting list and I am beside myself. 

You must first understand that I don't view childcare as an added bonus to our bible study, it's vital.  These women are just like me.  Spending their days doing the invisible work of raising little ones.  They come in on Thursday morning weary and empty, but they leave refreshed.  Two hours where they can let their guard down, share their hearts, and fill their souls with the One who will see them through the next 7 days.  Friendships are built, tears are shed, and women laugh. This is what I work for. 

Last week as a spreadsheet of little ones glared back at me, I prayed.  I prayed that He would give me the workers.  Emails, phone calls, and pleas had left me short.  I had done my part.  I needed Him.  By the next day, I had two new workers.  One of them a volunteer, which will allow our budget to take on even more kids.  As I worshiped in church today, the tears slid down my cheeks.  How many times until I learn this lesson?  Doing my part is futile if I don't give Him the chance to do His. 

Now, I am asking for a favor.  Even with our two new workers, we are short.  I know that He can bring the hands even when I don't see a way.  Will you pray with me?  As you are reminded through the faces of little ones, will you ask God to make a way for their moms to seek His face?  Will you ask Him for a miracle?  Because I will be expecting one.