Monday, September 12, 2011

September 13th

I opened my inbox today and found an email titled "Wish Audrey's daughter a Happy 1st Birthday!"  In that instant, an all to familiar ache filled my heart.  I knew it was coming.  We talked about it just a few weeks ago.  Discussing ways that Annabelle's life could be honored.  Ways that her baby brother and future siblings could remember their big sister on her birthday.  Traditions that would become treasured memories.  Yet, I wasn't prepared. 

In the past 7 months, I have had hard conversations with Auds.  I have held her while she wept and I have prayed with her until I had no words left to speak.  I spent hours sitting at the foot of Annabelle's grave and I have felt more helpless than ever before in my life.  In that time, I have also watched a marriage be transformed.  I have joyfully shopped for windmills for sweet Annabelle's grave (you should have seen the cashiers face when Auds mentioned their destination).  I have laughed until I cried, hurdled sprinklers in the cemetery and found hope overcoming despair.  I have been inspired and challenged.

The last time we talked, Audrey said "I'm not going to say she should be here right now.  God knew from the beginning that she wouldn't be.  That wasn't the plan for her life."  Tomorrow Audrey and Kyle will celebrate the 5 months they spent with Annabelle and they will thank God for the blessings she brought to them.  Through her life and through her death. 

Kyle and Auds, 
I will spend tomorrow on my knees. 
I love you!

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