Wednesday, August 3, 2011

My Promise

To my children:

I recently saw this sign...

"I am not your friend.  I am your parent.  I will stalk you, flip out on you, lecture, drive you insane, be your worst nightmare, and hunt you down when necessary because I love you and when you understand that I will know you're a responsible adult.  You will never find someone who loves, prays, cares, or worries about you more than me.  This is my promise to you."

At first glance, I thought I might agree, but then I read on.  The words that followed didn't settle.  You are little and, right now, I am not your friend.  On day, I hope to be and so I am making you a different promise.

I will give you the freedom to test your wings and the boundaries to keep you safe.   I will enforce constructive consequences that will help you better understand the choices you make.  I will listen to your fears, needs and desires.  I will treat you with respect, grace, and love always remembering that you are a work in progress just like your mom.  Though there will be seasons of life with more wrong than right, I will never quit trying to understand your perspective. 

When you are an adult, I pray that you will see me as a friend who loved you enough to let you become the best version of you.  I hope that I have helped you understand your strengths and your struggles and given you the tools to make the most of both.  I want you to look back on the those times of trial and know that I made tough decisions with your best interest in mind. 

I will spend the next 20 years treating you with the love and respect a friendship deserves, so that when the day comes, you will choose to be my friend. 

With Love,


  1. I agree! I don't like the "no one will ever love you more than me" bit. Seems like a setup from a needy, enmeshed mom. (I'd hate to marry into that). I think parents can say "No one will ever love you in the same way I do..."
    This is good stuff, Erin, and it makes me think you must have a lovely friendship with your parents (which I know you do). Your kids are lucky to have you for their mom.

  2. This is good Erin. Well thought out and well written. I love taking the time to be intentional NOW about parenting with the future in mind, thinking about what kind of adults we want these Littles to be. You're doing a great job. :)