Skip to main content

My Promise

To my children:

I recently saw this sign...

"I am not your friend.  I am your parent.  I will stalk you, flip out on you, lecture, drive you insane, be your worst nightmare, and hunt you down when necessary because I love you and when you understand that I will know you're a responsible adult.  You will never find someone who loves, prays, cares, or worries about you more than me.  This is my promise to you."

At first glance, I thought I might agree, but then I read on.  The words that followed didn't settle.  You are little and, right now, I am not your friend.  On day, I hope to be and so I am making you a different promise.

I will give you the freedom to test your wings and the boundaries to keep you safe.   I will enforce constructive consequences that will help you better understand the choices you make.  I will listen to your fears, needs and desires.  I will treat you with respect, grace, and love always remembering that you are a work in progress just like your mom.  Though there will be seasons of life with more wrong than right, I will never quit trying to understand your perspective. 

When you are an adult, I pray that you will see me as a friend who loved you enough to let you become the best version of you.  I hope that I have helped you understand your strengths and your struggles and given you the tools to make the most of both.  I want you to look back on the those times of trial and know that I made tough decisions with your best interest in mind. 

I will spend the next 20 years treating you with the love and respect a friendship deserves, so that when the day comes, you will choose to be my friend. 

With Love,
Mom

Comments

  1. StacieAugust 4, 2011 at 7:09 AM

    I agree! I don't like the "no one will ever love you more than me" bit. Seems like a setup from a needy, enmeshed mom. (I'd hate to marry into that). I think parents can say "No one will ever love you in the same way I do..."
    This is good stuff, Erin, and it makes me think you must have a lovely friendship with your parents (which I know you do). Your kids are lucky to have you for their mom.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Janna OAugust 4, 2011 at 10:11 AM

    This is good Erin. Well thought out and well written. I love taking the time to be intentional NOW about parenting with the future in mind, thinking about what kind of adults we want these Littles to be. You're doing a great job. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. NatalieAugust 4, 2011 at 10:13 AM

    Agree completely.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Mama's Sick

That's right, you heard it here first.  This mama's SICK!  I have fought off the runny nose-sore throat-head in a vice germs for months on end, but at last I have succumb.  Of course this misfortune must come on the same day as Ohio State's Bowl Game.  Try as he might, my dear husband has zero ability to hear ANYTHING that is happening when a football game is on.  Trust me.  I banged quite a few dishes around in the kitchen.  I even sighed loudly as I carried laundry in to fold.  Still...nothing.  He really does mean well.  He attempted to help with bedtime, but all three of those ankle bitters insisted on "mommy" putting them to bed.  He told me to go to bed as soon as he got home, but really ?  Can you imagine what the house would look like by morning???  I could have asked for help.  I should have asked.  Isn't that what my mother has been hammering into my head for the past 9 years?  "He doesn't see...
2 comments
Read more

Changes

"This pool is shady.  I NEED sun, so get back over here!" she scorned.  A mom who's little girl just wanted to play with her friend.  A mom who couldn't see past her need for perfect tan lines.  A mom who was missing the joy of vacation and was, in turn, stealing it from her daughter. My heart breaks.  I wish I could make her see just how much she is missing.  I wish her daughter could spend an afternoon with a mom who was completely engaged.  I wish she could know the joy of splashing with her children.  The memories that far outlast a tan.  I've traded pina coladas for snow cones, novels for sand castles, and late nights for early mornings.  My tan lines aren't even, my people watching has been narrowed to three little ones, and more money was spent at The Children's Place than Banana Republic.  Vacation has changed.  It's not that I have given up on any of the original ways of vacation.  They are ce...
3 comments
Read more