Feburary: Engage People, Not Screens

"Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth."

1 John 3:18

If being quiet didn't kill me in January, limiting screens was going to give it a go in February. Who's idea was this anyway??

As I thought through this month, it quickly occurred to me that my use of screens is directly related to my addiction to noise. This is most obvious when I find myself scrolling through my phone as I listen to the person sitting across from me. I lie to myself (and everyone else) saying I can do it all, but they know better. They feel my disconnect.

Not only have my children spoken the words.....

"She's always on her phone"

but I have begun to feel the disconnect myself.

I cannot ask of them what I am not will to do myself.

It doesn't matter how boring the playground drama or how little I understand of the Star War theories. My lack of Minecraft knowledge doesn't excuse my distraction. Little things become the big things. If I can't stay present for these simple (though tedious) conversations, they won't trust me to handle the big ones.

They need to know that I am present. They need to see that they matter. The world may not revolve around them, but they shouldn't have to chase me around mine.

So I started putting my phone down. At the bus stop. In the kitchen. When they spoke.
I just listened. Looking into their sweet faces, I found a place of connection that I had forgotten. There eyes said they felt it too. My actions spoke love. More than my words ever can.

Suddenly, I noticed the quiet from January creeping back, A muted phone still makes noise, so it seems.

Comments

Dreams Take Time

I'm not someone to choose a word for my year or set out with any big aspirations for change. Likely because I am a fair amount of lazy and avoid disappointment at all costs. God knows that about me, so He tends to take care of the planning and usually by December I have realized what it is I was suppose to learn. If not, he always lets me repeat the lesson. He's real generous like that. So, after spending 2017 stepping into youth ministry and feeling BRAVE I headed into 2018 like David after Goliath. I mean, God was for sure using me for some giant situations! He had given me a passion that excited and inspired me in a way I had never before experienced. People around me noticed. I was ready to take on the world. Then, slowly but surely, the path I envisioned started to fade. The ways I intended to use my passion fell away and I was left with a dream that had no real path. Now don't get me wrong, He was still using me. I could see that even in the midst of the c

My Promise

To my children: I recently saw this sign... "I am not your friend. I am your parent. I will stalk you, flip out on you, lecture, drive you insane, be your worst nightmare, and hunt you down when necessary because I love you and when you understand that I will know you're a responsible adult. You will never find someone who loves, prays, cares, or worries about you more than me. This is my promise to you." At first glance, I thought I might agree, but then I read on. The words that followed didn't settle. You are little and, right now, I am not your friend. On day, I hope to be and so I am making you a different promise. I will give you the freedom to test your wings and the boundaries to keep you safe. I will enforce constructive consequences that will help you better understand the choices you make. I will listen to your fears, needs and desires. I will treat you with respect, grace, and love always remembering that you are a work in progress just

Changes

"This pool is shady. I NEED sun, so get back over here!" she scorned. A mom who's little girl just wanted to play with her friend. A mom who couldn't see past her need for perfect tan lines. A mom who was missing the joy of vacation and was, in turn, stealing it from her daughter. My heart breaks. I wish I could make her see just how much she is missing. I wish her daughter could spend an afternoon with a mom who was completely engaged. I wish she could know the joy of splashing with her children. The memories that far outlast a tan. I've traded pina coladas for snow cones, novels for sand castles, and late nights for early mornings. My tan lines aren't even, my people watching has been narrowed to three little ones, and more money was spent at The Children's Place than Banana Republic. Vacation has changed. It's not that I have given up on any of the original ways of vacation. They are certainly more relaxing, but there will be time

This Piece of Time

Search This Blog